The Integrity Of An Unsliced Pizza and Why Clinton Lost

The night after the election, my wife and I celebrated my birthday with a dinner at a new, trendy Italian restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. The charming waitress took our orders and then ever-so-pleasantly refused my wife’s request that the chef sprinkle Parmesan cheese across her linguine.  Not wanting an argument on my birthday but staying true to my legal roots,I sought confirmation that this upscale, Italian restaurant had Parmesan cheese in the kitchen. Receiving that confirmation, I gently requested to our gushing-with-smiles waitress that we would appreciate it if she would bring a small sampling of grated cheese to our table.  

        The waitress politely demurred. She boasted that the chef believes that his sauce does not need, nor should have, any Parmesan cheese. My wife gently protested and acknowledged that she was certain the chef sauce was scrumptious, but repeated her preference for just, “a little bit of cheese.”  

       After I ordered a tantalizingly thin gourmet pizza, the near-giggly waitress proudly informed me that the restaurant never slices their pizzas.  She boastfully proclaimed, confirming the admonition stated on the menu, that slicing would destroy, “the integrity of the pizza.”  In response to our gentle inquiries as to why we could not have cheese on the table or the pizza sliced, she added with dripping condescension, “We stick to our guns here.” 

      I presume the chef is certain that he knows far better than any of his customers how they should dine.  After all, only a dim-witted, proletariat fool would want their pizza sliced or cheese grated upon their linguine.  

 Stunningly, HRC was the first major party candidate since 1972 to never campaign in Wisconsin.  Her campaign wise men and women knew best, her internal polls confirmed a certain victory. They were too busy engaging in an end zone celebratory dance to notice Trump’s rise.  However that dance was on the 20 yard line and Clinton never reached the goal line.

     During the campaign’s final two weeks, the state chair of the Michigan Democratic Party alerted the Clinton campaign that Trump was gaining momentum and Hillary needed to campaign in the state.  The chairman was rebuffed and told that the campaign’s “analytics” assured a Clinton victory.  

     Both the chef and the Clinton campaign were certain of their genius; after all his recipe and their analytics were spot on.  My takeaway. . . I’m not returning to that restaurant and Hillary lost Michigan and Wisconsin.